There should be a law that prevents stupid people from marrying other stupid people or come up with a way to stop them from breeding. Let me define what I mean by stupid people – I am referring to someone who is so utterly moronic that it kills MY brain cells at the very thought of them. I’m talking about people who are lucky enough to have survived childhood on pure luck they have grown up and by whatever weird law of social science have found another stupid person to breed with and have stupid children with. I’m not talking about the smoking while pumping gas stupid. I’m not talking about calling the cops and telling them some other loser they were getting high with stole their pot stupid. Or holding lit explosives in your hand stupid. Those are really bad. I’m talking about people who inconvenience me with their stupidity.
Here’s what I am talking about. I had a quick errand to run yesterday, I needed 3 things. I stopped in at Wal-Mart, got my things and went to the check out. I got in line behind a rather large lady at the checkout. She had $96.87 of crap bagged up. She began writing a check. That’s when I learned that Wal-Mart now automagically drafts your checking account right on the spot (thank the banks for overdraft protection if you have it). Wal-Mart has had to take this step to make sure they get their funds. If you bounce a check with them, they don’t care anymore. They have a clearing house service that now asks for the money to be paid to them. And until you pay them back just try to write a check somewhere else! Apparently she had bounced a check with Wal-Mart and not paid the clearing house. This person did not get that … she reached into the cart and pulled out a couple movies from the $5 bin and asked the clerk to remove them from her bill and she wrote another check which was rejected. The clerk then explained again, possibly, why it was being rejected. The large woman then reached into the cart and grabbed about 4 pair of thong panties, a huge bra and music CDs and asked the clerk to remove them from her bill and wrote another check.
Do you see where I’m going with this? Butt (pun intended), before I finish the story, let me address something else first, if you are overweight, thongs are not for you! Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking a few extra pounds here, I’m talking an easy 60-75 pounds overweight. I didn’t know they made thongs that big!
Again, the clerk said she could not accept the check. By now we are down 1/2 the items in her cart and under $50. Are you beginning to see where I’m going with this? I went in for motor oil, batteries and light bulbs. I got in a line that was almost ready to check out. I thought, “Sweet! In and out at Wal-Mart” At this point I almost felt sorry for this woman. I was to the point of writing a check to pay for her stuff just to get her out of the way, but the stuff she started pulling out was stuff I thought should have stayed. Things like detergent, toothpaste, Cheerios, fresh veggies … What stayed? Chips, pop, beer, cigarettes, candy, a couple toys and some other stuff I didn’t see. She got the purchase down to where she had cash to pay for it. I’m not sure at what point it registered that her checks were no good at Wal-Mart. You’re asking why I didn’t jump lines to some other line. Like I said earlier I’m talking about stupid people who are so moronic that it kills my brain cells. I really would have jumped lines, but this was like a train wreck. You wanted to see if anyone survived.