Green eggs and SPAM

Ok already! I get it! Go to the doctor and get the cough looked at. Heck I’ve seen the doctor 4 times since April. That’s more than I went in the past 4 years. My last visit was last week and I was finally referred to a pulmonary specialist. I was sent for another set of x-rays as well. I now have in my hands my last 2 sets of x-rays. I’ve held them up side by side and cannot see a change between them. Which is good. My Dr. sent a post card that says the x-rays showed my chest as being clear. In the meantime I’m still coughing. I still have congestion in my chest. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what the *specialist* has to say. In the mean time I am watching on ebay for new lungs …. 🙂

spam.jpgOk on to what I really wanted to rant about … Spam is bad … most of the time. Sometimes it’s entertaining. The latest round of spam includes things like “We know you have a small dick! Your girlfriend knows you have a small dick!” How do they know the size of my wee willy winky? I went on to read that by taking their herbal supplements my dick will grow 3 inches in length and double in circumference. WOW!! How much and where do I get it!? Well for $59.99 a month I can have a bigger dick BUT I have to take it for 3 to 6 months to see the full effect. Bummer … I was hoping for an overnight cure for my “embarrassing condition”.

I got more spam telling me I can increase the volume of my sperm. My girlfriend will not know what to do with the volume of sperm I ejaculate! Your girlfriends won’t be disappointed! Hmmmm. I don’t have a girlfriend. So I really won’t be satisfied until I have one! Wonder what my wife would think about that!?

Oh yeah! I almost forgot about the spam from sexseach.com and hornymatches.com! They guarantee that I will get laid tonight if I sign up for an account with them. You can get a free standard account and start hooking up today! I thought “Hey! I need a girlfriend to impress with my new size and the increased volume of my ejaculate.” I decided I’ll look into this … I made up a profile and said I was married and looking for a girlfriend to show off my new dick size and increased sperm volume. The sexsearch sight didn’t show me much at the free level. But the hornymatches did! I got 52 matches in the instant search and one of the 40-somethings women looked like Carmen Electra! And last night when I looked, I had 4 winks and 5 emails. And all were women within a 60 mile radius of my bogus location. I was rather shocked by the comments made by 2 of the *women* in the emails. My wife would never say those things to me even after knowing me for 21 years. As a matter of fact she probably wouldn’t even consider doing those things to me. Don’t get me wrong! We have a great sex life. It’s probably better than 80% of the married people out there. On average we *get it on* 4 times a week. Seriously! We do! And one of those nights is always our date night (the night we make sure our kids are out of the house!). We both look forward to “Date Night”!! But there are just some things that just aren’t *right*. It took me a minute or 3 to figure out what an MFM was and what DDF meant … needless to say I’m not gonna be part of an MFM or a FMF and I am definitely DDF already. My “profiles” on both servers are now inactive. You cannot delete them. I think it’s a pretty sad state to see what some people are willing to do to “satisfy” themselves. And how low some women will sink for the attention of a man.

Now I’m just hoping to get some spam that will have the next snake oil cure-all for my cough! And I do like the spam you can get in a can. It’s pretty good fried!

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One response to “Green eggs and SPAM

  1. Pingback: I am in trouble … BIG TIME! « PullYourHeadOutOfYer …

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