I will be the first to admit that I voted for the man. And now I regret it.
George’s rating are so low he had to have something to pump them back up. He needs to justify his illegal war in Iraq. He’s got to keep stripping Americans of their freedom. He’s in such a bad spot ANYTHING will improve his ratings. Passing gas that smells like roses will improve his ratings.
Pretty soon we are going to have to ship our luggage out a week early, it’ll be waiting at the airport when you arrive. The carriers can have planes that just carry luggage. When you get to the airport to fly, you will have to get undressed and check your clothes at the security desk. You can keep your underwear on. Women can keep their bras provided they don’t have an underwire or metal clips. Everyone will have to submit themselves to a cavity search or maybe walk through a large x-ray machine so “they” can see if you are concealing anything. You board the plane in your underwear … barefoot. You’ll get your clothes and shoes back when your plane lands safely. You won’t have any bags. No carry-ons .. nothing. And it will work so well. You see, the terrorists won’t even try to fly because they are offended by the sight of naked women. And when you arrive at your destination you can go to the baggage claim area and pick up your bags. Of course they will have been gone through and any contra-ban will have been confiscated. Don’t take a copy of the Constitution … it might get you arrested. Forget about your rights .. we are giving them away little by little each day so we can feel a bit more secure.
IMHO here’s how things went down on Sunday:
GB: Uhhh huh .. Tony? This is George … Bush
TB: Uhhh huh .. you said “Bush” .. that was cool!
GB: Shut dumbass! Don’t make me come over there and kick your ass!
GB: Now listen up! I’m in some trouble .. this war thing in Iraq isn’t going so well …
TB: I told you you’d shoot your eye out!
GB: Shut up! (GB smacks TB)
TB: Ouch! What’s you do that for fart knocker!?
GB: So you’d shut up and listen to me. I need a favor. You need to arrest some people and tell the world that there was a plot to drive more cows mad!
TB: How’s that gonna help you?
GB: People will be afraid to eat beef!
TB: You’re a dumbass! Why not tell them we are shipping a bunch of bird flu infected chickens to the US and it blew up over the Atlantic?
GB: You’re the dumbass! Who would believe birds get the flu!??
TB: How about this! We tell the world there was a plot to give everyone on a couple planes had really bad diarrhea and it blew up over the Atlantic because there was no where else to put the poop?
GB: Now who’s the dumbass? Dumbass!
TB: uhhhh huh … you said “the”!
GB: Hey! How’s this sound? Terrorists were were gonna blow up a plane with a liquid! Let’s see .. baby formula? no … hair gel? no .. hand sanitizer .. no … I got it! Gatorade?
TB: Yeah! That sounds great! We can ask “Is it in you(r plane)?”
I have a better solution … Everyone boards the plane in their underwear, the TSA gives everyone on the plane a gun. And make it a civic responsibility to shoot anyone on the plane who acts the least bit suspicious. When they get off the plane they have to turn the gun back in BEFORE they can claim their clothes.
You know, I remember flying as a kid and seeing a man bring his rifles on a plane. They were in a rugged plastic carry case. Who in their right mind would mess with someone knowing there were guns onboard.
Little by little we are giving away our freedoms in exchange for supposed “security”. I’ll tell you this much. I don’t feel the least bit more secure today than I did right after 9/11. Yet if I mention just the right words in a phone call Bushwhacker and his cronies will pounce on me. Heck, I bet this entry into my blog has already been read by his cronies because I mentioned just the right words. I best be careful. They may just come haul me away … or make my employer fire me for some bogus reason. Maybe the next time I fly I will take a copy of the Constitution with me as light reading … of course they’ll have to inspect it … and perhaps even take it. Afterall it is a bogus document under this administration’s reign of terror.