The Struggle

If you’ve been here before and read any of my ramblings I’m certain you may have read I have initiated a life change. I am getting in shape. January 2006 I weighed in at 287(ish) pounds. I’m 6′ 10″ so carrying that much weight spread out over a large frame can hide how “chubby” I was. I don’t want to say “fat” … but honestly, I was getting “fat”.

I’ve been “big” for a while. How long? I really had to think about it. I really struggled to answer that question, how long have I been “big”? My body really has not been in shape since I started working full time in 1988. I started driving everywhere instead of riding my bike. So for about 20 years I’ve “neglected” myself. It really didn’t phase me much because the weight gain was so gradual. It wasn’t until 1996 that I noticed I “gained weight”. I noticed it when I could not fit into my suits that I bought in 1991. I had to buy new suits for interviews. I threw away the ones that didn’t fit any longer. And the new suits have served me well. And I noticed in 2004 when my grandmother passed away that the suits were getting “close fitting” (yeah .. that’s what I’ll call it). And then last year in March we went on a cruise. And my suits were too small. I could not even button the top button on my dress shirts, the suit looked “stretched” if I buttoned the jacket and the pants were uncomfortable as well. My suits looked and felt awful.

I look in the mirror today and I see “a difference” but not enough of one to really think I lost weight. I wish I had a picture of myself in a swimsuit before I started loosing weight. I’d like to compare then and now. That’s brings us to this year, to now. We are leaving for our cruise on Saturday. I really didn’t want to try my suit on since it was so depressing to wear it last year and I didn’t want to feel that way again. I tried it on Monday night. The pants now fall down … I actually “have to” use the suspenders. They are not just for “show” anymore .. I really need them. As for the jacket .. I have several inches of room!  I think I need a new suit .. or at least get this one altered. 🙂  But I doubt I’ll have the time to get it done before we leave. And that’s when I came to the realization that I am in better shape now than I was 11 years ago when I bought my suits. I didn’t realize that 11 years ago I was that “big”.OK, so what’s The Struggle? Sounds like I’m doing great, right? I am. But the last 2 to 3 weeks I’ve hit a plateau at 242 pounds. Or I was until this morning. I got on the scale and it was 241 even. But my goal is to get to 225 to 230. And these last 12 to 15 pounds are going to be a struggle to drop. So far my weight loss has been easy. Well not easy but easier than these last 15. I have really worked at loosing these last few pounds. I’ve bumped up weights at the Y, I’ve upped the number of sets and reps, I’ve increased the miles and time I’m running on the treadmill and with Shadow around town. All in hopes of breaking that 242 mark. I’m beginning to wonder if I can get these last few pound off without a “diet”.

I hate that word and what it stands for. Die”t”. Die with a t …. I feel this way because everytime my wife would die”t” I would have to die”t” as well. I resented diets and what they did to my lifestyle. And I’ll be honest, up until this point my only changes to my eating is I’m eating healthier foods. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I recognize what I’ve accomplished without a die”t” and value that work. So I’ve been eating better, I’m not eating less. But right now I’m beginning to think I need to further modify my eating habits to get to that 225 mark. I will have to eat differently. It’s time to research how to change up my eating, yet still enjoy the foods I like to eat (read that as an Entenmann’s Donut). I’m not too concerned about it since I’ll be cruising next week. And while I’m gone I will have to work to avoid gaining weight. I am willing to accept gaining up to 7 pounds while gone. Nothing more. That means I will have to hit the track at least 4 or 5 times and the weight room at least twice while gone. That should be easy enough to do. I have all day Sunday and Monday aboard the ship. We are docked at different ports Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Friday and Saturday are at sea again and Sunday we are back in LA. I will just have to make the time to get in the exercise. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I’ve made exercise a part of my life now for a year. I’m not about to give that up. So now I am on a quest. I want to resolve this struggle with the last 15 pounds. I think over the next 12 weeks I should be able to drop it. That’s my goal at least. But I’m not going to worry about it until I get back.



Filed under Journal

2 responses to “The Struggle

  1. Alicia

    From my own personal experience, I would recommend you reward yourself with a personal trainer. S/he will help you on that final goal. (I’m not talking about the free muscle heads that the Y offers.)

  2. Hmmmm … that’s a thought. I could understand doing that if I had a problem getting motivated to lift or run or walk. I’m up to 17 miles a week and lift 3 days. Having never used one I guess it’s hard to see the benefit when I got as far as I have without one. But it’s a thought to consider.

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