I need to be a better communicator

I seem to be able to communicate with everyone except with the people who matter most in my life. I think it’s because all my relationships outside of family are professional ones. I don’t open up easily. Never have. Never will. Ask wife. Ask other family. I am not a good communicator.  I think it’s because I’m good at reading people and I expect them to read me.

I heard it said somewhere that women speak something like 20,000 words a day and men speak something like 7000 words a day. By the time I get home I have like 50 words left. I can listen … just not talkative. I married a talker. She easily gets in 25,000 to 30,000 words a day. I hit 5,000 and I’m done. Maybe that’s why Shadow likes me so much. I’m quiet and like to just sit and scratch her head while she sleeps. It’s great. She doesn’t say a word. She’s quiet. She’s comfortable just sleeping on the couch with her head in my lap. Quietly sleeping. Not wanting anything but to be close and be scratched.

All this stems from a conversation with Wife the other day. I only happened to use 4,500 words at work that day so I just happen to have about 500 left over to use at home. Little did I know they were the wrong words. Wife and girls got home from somewhere. Not sure where it was. I was involved in watching the Celtics (the Scottish soccer team) on Setanta Sports (DishNetwork FINALLY picked them up!). I’ve had to follow them by watching streamed games on the internet and to finally catch a live game on TV … well needless to say I was rather distracted. And to be honest I was not at all interested in the details of the shopping trip. To me shopping is a chore. Not a joy. I pretended to listen as long as I could without getting frustrated. But when she stepped between the TV and me and said “You don’t really care do you? I think you’d much rather us not be here. I get the feeling you’d rather spend time with the dog instead of us.” I asked “Did aunt Flo visit this week?” Wrong question … Her reply “You blame all our problems on blah blah blah blah” I replied “GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!” when I saw Celtic score and tied up the match with Falkirk. I have yet to see how that match ended. No I don’t want to know. I have it DVR’ed and I want to watch it.

Off went the TV. Needless to say we started a conversation about my inability to converse … I then made the mistake of saying “Well if you would talk about things that were interesting …” I didn’t get to finish the sentence. Her reply was short, to the point and probably true (in her mind) “If you felt about me the way you should anything I said to you would be important …. blah blah blah” I was thinking “I wish I could see the rest of that game.”

All this comes up now because I was trying to watch that game again last night when Wife started up a conversation … I looked at her and asked “Why didn’t we discuss this 2 hours ago when we were talking about other things? Why do you wait until I sit down to watch a bit of football to talk to me about serious issues?” And in an effort to show I am working on communications, I stopped the match and shut off the TV. I still don’t know who won the match.

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1 Comment

Filed under Communication, Journal, Soccer

One response to “I need to be a better communicator

  1. Celtic won the match! They scored 3 more times in the last 10 minutes! I guess I need to be more patient and only try to watch when no one is around.

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