What do you want on your tombstone?

I’ve thought about it … here are a few things I thought of:

“I’m not here, so why are you?”

“The worm crawls in the worm crawls out the worm plays pinochle in my snout”

“Hey it’s dark down here … toss me a match”

“Call before digging”

Morbid, right? Well we had a death in the family the Friday after Thanksgiving. Huge, unexpected loss to the family. My wife and girls are fine for the most part. They are grieving. Me? I’ve had to be the one they lean on. I’ve taken time to process it in my own way. And I’ve learned to do it in a short compressed time frame … I’ve been to 9 funerals for family members since I was 5. That averages out to one funeral every 4.5 years. But 7 of those have been in the last 18 years. I became numb to the loss after loosing my mom. There was something about her death that changed the way I view death. It would be easy to let go and fall apart with grief, but what’s the point? It’s wasted energy and time.

I guess it would phase me more if it was my wife or one of my girls. And I dread loosing any one of them. But to be honest I pray I out-live them all. I hate seeing them grieve. They are not able to process and move on. Actually D2 has done better than my wife and D1. But I think she takes her queues from me. D1 and Wife are the two who are having a hard time with it. A very hard time. That’s why there are no Christmas lights or decorations. They don’t want it. They don’t want to be happy or celebrate. Me? I think we need the lights and decorations to break outta this funk we are in. D2 is missing out on a Christmas and it’s not fair to her. I think I will have to take it on and decorate on my own and run the risk of pissing off my wife.

Writing about it doesn’t help. So what do you want on your tombstone?

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