A friend of mine died Saturday. I found out yesterday. He was murdered in his home. Steve was a good guy at heart but could be annoying. He had a know-it-all attitude, and sometimes made you feel like he was better than anyone around, yet he would give you the shirt off his hairy back. What is so sad about this, other than the senseless taking of Steve’s life, is the lack of action on my part and on Steve’s part to keep up our friendship.

We worked together for a couple years and hung out from time to time. But with my family growing and kids needing time and wife needing more help with the kids – the time I spent with friends dwindled to zero. Every once in a while Steve and I would chat or meet for lunch or early dinner. Eventually it faded to twice a year then once a year.

As a matter of fact I didn’t speak with Steve until he called me about an opening in his office. He told me they were hiring and if I wanted to break ranks from my current employer I’d be a good fit. I sent along my resume but never really followed up. We talked two other times after I sent my resume. The last time was around the 4th to set a lunch date for the 28th. Our work schedules are that busy, either that or we just weren’t all that concerned about getting together. When it’s someone you really want to see you will move mountains to get it done. For me and Steve it was a chance to eat a good meal catch up and go back to the way we were …

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll miss him, but I won’t miss him. He was not a part of my everyday life. I’m just saddened by my own inactions to maintain a friendship I valued at one time.



Filed under Journal

3 responses to “Loss

  1. I’m sorry for your loss.

    I understand that you will and won’t miss him, but it’s still a loss. People grow apart, it’s just a fact of life. A hard one, though. But new people come in too – I’m sure you have newer, closer friends that have grown in your life while others have grown away. It’s not a reflection of an inability, but of a natural cycle.

  2. Touched...

    I’m sorry to hear about the lost of your friend. Sometimes we all get so busy that we lose sight of the most important thing in life…Love. Sometimes it isn’t about the amount fo time you give to someone but more about the love you share/shared. I have a feeling that he knows that you cared even though life had you moving in a different direction.

  3. Thanks!

    He was there for a season. I’m a firm believer we meet the people we meet at the time we need them most.

    I’m not a user of people, but that’s almost how this feels. Steve and I worked together. After I left the company we kept in touch. But my girls were getting older and taking more of my time. Steve was divorced and swore he’d die single .. he never dated anyone seriously in the time I knew him. He loved women, but would never settle for just one. And my wife had issues with that so I spent less and less time with Steve. Eventually we would only get together one or two times a year. And that was enough for both of us. We understood it. We didn’t question it. It just was.

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